loss

After the first day with you I knew

I knew I was going to be happy

For the first time ever

I had never felt that way before

You healed me

I wanted it all with you

Everything about you was so perfect to me

Your bright blue eyes

Your perfect smile

The way my hand fit into yours

The way you kissed me

The way you looked at me

The sound of your voice

There is no other girl that could compare to you

And then you left

With no hesitation

You left me

Forcing me back into a pit of darkness

Trying to be okay without you

Trying to put the pieces back together

That you broke

I didn’t just lose a significant other

I lost a friend

Someone that I trusted with everything

Someone I could talk to every day

How am I supposed to forgive you for this?

Fear

Try waking up in the middle of the night out of dead sleep from a phone call from your other half

Your best friend

Crying and begging you for help

When you are so helpless

When you are to far away to reach them

Not knowing wether they will be okay or not

Trying to get them to keep talking

Only to hear their voice slowly fading away

Try getting into your vehicle

Fighting off the immenint tears

Speeding down the highway

Not knowing if you will make it to their side on time

Try getting to the hospital in record time

Sprinting into the building

To see the one person you love

Lying on the bed motionless

A million thoughts rush to your mind

Was I too late?

You wish you could take their pain away

You wish you could help them

But you can’t

All you can do is hold them and pray

Pray that they come back to you

And when they do

You will never want to let them go

To the father that left me:

When you left me

You took

My smile

My laugh

My childhood

My innocence

You took everything from me

You broke me

I tried over and over again

to put myself back together

I tried to fill the hole you left in my heart

With people that were unworthy

Of my love

People that were just like you

People that would leave me

Hurt me

Even though you left

You still have the power to control me

So please don’t try to come back

I will let you

And it will break me even more