10/5

Ive been getting small flashbacks of that night. that feeling of being so worthless. Like I was a huge waste of space. I hate that I let you make me feel that way. I hate even more that You don’t care. When I needed you the most. You were nowhere to be found. You didn’t want to be there. And neither did I. So I wrote you a letter. i put it in my pocket for it to be mailed when the time came for me to go. I grabbed every bottle I could find. Without an ounce of hesitation, I took them. It was the only time I felt at peace during those last few days. How messed up is that? that one person can have that much power over someone. I went to sleep with every intent on not waking up the next morning. I remember it all going black. And then I woke up. Scared and alone a day and a half later on an airplane. I knew Exactly where I was going. I remember the first emotion I felt. Anger. Why couldn’t they just let me go? It was what I wanted. I called you when I was there. I know you knew it was me. I left you a message. I died. And you didn’t even care enough to check in on me? You broke me.