time

Time. I don’t understand time. How much time should I put into you? I don’t want to give you all my time because you could hurt me. With time comes effort, obviously. So how much of that should I give to you too? Do I make my effort obvious? If I am too obvious then you will know how I feel, and if you don’t feel the same then it would ruin everything we already have. Do I attempt to hide it? I’v been doing that, and I think you know it too. Maybe you don’t know it and I have hidden it so much that you think I am not interested at all and that’s why you put your own time and effort into others. I don’t understand what you want from me or what I want from you. I want you to be happy, but even more I want you to be happy with me. Is that selfish of me? I have been hurt so many times before, I don’t want to go through it all again. If I let myself I could fall so hard for you. But, I don’t know how. How am I supposed to open myself up to you and make my self vulnerable? When is the right time to do that? When is the right time to “man up” and allow you to know what is going on inside my head? When am I supposed to tell you I have never looked at you as just a friend?